I have never been found.
Some people believe that I am just a set of nerve cells, or some other bodily set of things.
Other people believe that we have souls.
Still other might believe that I am dream in their imagination.
But no one can pin point my exact location.
They can know which part of me is necessary for me to speak, to perceive visual objects. If they take away certain of my brain I will not be able to do certain things.
Animals have been experimented, widely, and we know all sorts of things about brain functioning. If it were not for the Nazis loosing the war I'm sure they'd be plenty of subhumans to make even more experiments. As it is, we restricted the set of conscious beings to which we are prepared to inflict unimaginable suffering.
Humanity... oh well...
Other people say it is possible to find me. It is like finding the "court" in the physical building. It's a mix-up they say. One thing is the building, another is the logical entity. It cannot be found in the building for it is an entirely different thing.
However, these people are speaking about the person Pedro. Whereas I'm speaking about the consciousness Pedro. The person Pedro, who has plenty of attributes, could eventually be re-enacted in some other point and time in the universe. Perhaps someone who had studied me very well could make an indistinguishable replica of me. So the person Pedro can be cloned, replicated, destroyed in many ways, rebuilt in many ways, combined and recombined an innumerable amount of times.
But I am aware, I am conscious, and that eye of the mind, the I of the mind, does not seem to change much through my personality changes. The act of will, the freedom I feel inside, may be annihilated by strong impulses, desires or simple "hormonal unbalances". But whenever it exists it is kind of a "light", an inner light, so much spoke of in less knowledgeable kinds of literature. And this does not seem to change.
Where does creativity come from? Where do thoughts come from? Where does love come from? And that immense sense of beauty when we look at the universe around us?
Of course, there are billions of well-thought out explanations about the mechanisms that brought us to what we are. But I am not speaking about that.
I am speaking about consciousness itself, which, as far as I know, no one was able to properly define (quite contrary to England's courts).
Perhaps it is here. Perhaps it is somewhere in my brain. Perhaps.
Syd Barret once wrote
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
And I'm most obliged to you for making it clear
That I'm not here"
Well, I never got to that point. I don't know if "I'm here" or not. I'm not even sure about what that would mean. Perhaps it means we are free to travel anywhere, as long as we don't feel trapped, an indissociable part, in this world. Perhaps it is just a metaphor for "don't believe and you will see the immense abilities of the psychedelic mind".
Whatever it means, however, I would like to add to it a further piece of gibberish: Perhaps I don't belong here, but, since I am, in fact, here, perhaps I am really somewhere between nowhere and everywhere, and, "therefore" (had this made any sense) I AM also here.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Power over nothing
Power... the eternal struggle of the monkey (especially the male).
We see all through those glasses: we see all life as a struggle to power.
Look at all the species, the better are the stronger, the best predator, grass, trees, snails... oh! so immensely powerful. How wish to be the apex predator.
Obviously, apex predators are far from being very successful in the story of our planet. If we look around what we see is cooperation and differentiation. Cells gave rise to sets of cells, which gave rise to all sorts of organisms, some with different organs, etc. Plants are one of the most successful kind of organisms, they are not "powerful" in the sense of the growling monkey with lots of females and submissive allies. They don't have even the concept of territory, they don't go to war.
How many species, successful species, have frontiers, go to war, mistreat even the females?
We long for power, that's where we came from, that is our inheritance. Had we come more from bonobos we would have a whole different kind of civilization.
But we are martial. We crave for power...
And although we can easily understand why (because gestation times are very prolonged, so if a male fights for the control of many females his genes will be more spread out in the long run, which leads to a preponderance on that kind of violent disposition) it is also very easy to see that such a disposition can never lead to very technologically advanced societies.
If you get a bunch of animals all trying to enhance their frontiers, they will tend to use their assassin powers on "the enemy". As technology evolves so does the means of mass murder. So it is simply a matter of time between we destroy a large part of what is now humanity.
The good news is: there's still at least a thousand more million years before Earth becomes to hot for life (our sun is getting brighter). In that time, just as life as previously developed photosynthesis, through all forms of organisms, so life will develop increasingly more expanded minds. We discovered symbolic language. We were able to speak it, then to write it, now to digitize it.
We have created many images of Gods. We are very slowly on a path to become like those that we describe.
So, even if our killing instincts use our technology to destroy ourselves, in the long run, those genes will be less frequent. Precisely for the same reasons that they were selected before: there are others better equipped to survive in the long run.
Beauty, cooperation, integration, sharing, love... are other qualities that will work much better now. The more advanced the technology, the more advanced must the "heart" be, so that we can direct ourselves to the goals that truly bring us happiness and ecstasy.
Of course, many of us think that power is the best way for ecstasy and pleasure.
But what do you control really? If you have a slave, who is your slave? What dreams, aspirations, creativity, everything that makes one beautiful... what does he / she have? In the measure he / she is a slave, there will be nothing of that, just a willingness to obey every order, to fulfill every one of your desires.
By creating slaves you surround yourself with misery, with hollow specters, with adulators and parasites. You will become alone.
You have power over nothing really...
The world, out there, is much more beautiful, even the simple waves and the sea, have a music that escapes you, surrounded, as you are, in the prison of your own crusade for glory.
Loose yourself, understand that there is nothing over which you are powerful. You can die at any moment, you don't even know why you live, or what life is. You have control over nothing really, not even your self. You are a perfect unknown.
Look at the world outside...
it's full of mysteries... no one really understands it...
come... let's explore it, together, among all things of which we are part...
like brothers, like parts of a gigantic whole which we are just beginning to understand...
let's LIVE
We see all through those glasses: we see all life as a struggle to power.
Look at all the species, the better are the stronger, the best predator, grass, trees, snails... oh! so immensely powerful. How wish to be the apex predator.
Obviously, apex predators are far from being very successful in the story of our planet. If we look around what we see is cooperation and differentiation. Cells gave rise to sets of cells, which gave rise to all sorts of organisms, some with different organs, etc. Plants are one of the most successful kind of organisms, they are not "powerful" in the sense of the growling monkey with lots of females and submissive allies. They don't have even the concept of territory, they don't go to war.
How many species, successful species, have frontiers, go to war, mistreat even the females?
We long for power, that's where we came from, that is our inheritance. Had we come more from bonobos we would have a whole different kind of civilization.
But we are martial. We crave for power...
And although we can easily understand why (because gestation times are very prolonged, so if a male fights for the control of many females his genes will be more spread out in the long run, which leads to a preponderance on that kind of violent disposition) it is also very easy to see that such a disposition can never lead to very technologically advanced societies.
If you get a bunch of animals all trying to enhance their frontiers, they will tend to use their assassin powers on "the enemy". As technology evolves so does the means of mass murder. So it is simply a matter of time between we destroy a large part of what is now humanity.
The good news is: there's still at least a thousand more million years before Earth becomes to hot for life (our sun is getting brighter). In that time, just as life as previously developed photosynthesis, through all forms of organisms, so life will develop increasingly more expanded minds. We discovered symbolic language. We were able to speak it, then to write it, now to digitize it.
We have created many images of Gods. We are very slowly on a path to become like those that we describe.
So, even if our killing instincts use our technology to destroy ourselves, in the long run, those genes will be less frequent. Precisely for the same reasons that they were selected before: there are others better equipped to survive in the long run.
Beauty, cooperation, integration, sharing, love... are other qualities that will work much better now. The more advanced the technology, the more advanced must the "heart" be, so that we can direct ourselves to the goals that truly bring us happiness and ecstasy.
Of course, many of us think that power is the best way for ecstasy and pleasure.
But what do you control really? If you have a slave, who is your slave? What dreams, aspirations, creativity, everything that makes one beautiful... what does he / she have? In the measure he / she is a slave, there will be nothing of that, just a willingness to obey every order, to fulfill every one of your desires.
By creating slaves you surround yourself with misery, with hollow specters, with adulators and parasites. You will become alone.
You have power over nothing really...
The world, out there, is much more beautiful, even the simple waves and the sea, have a music that escapes you, surrounded, as you are, in the prison of your own crusade for glory.
Loose yourself, understand that there is nothing over which you are powerful. You can die at any moment, you don't even know why you live, or what life is. You have control over nothing really, not even your self. You are a perfect unknown.
Look at the world outside...
it's full of mysteries... no one really understands it...
come... let's explore it, together, among all things of which we are part...
like brothers, like parts of a gigantic whole which we are just beginning to understand...
let's LIVE
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Looking at the Stars...
Swirling in the Universe, like a droplet of water... so many friends, so many visions, and, looking outside my window, so many worlds tightly woven into this one.
It is good to be alive...
From what I can imagine, there's nothing more Marvelous than being part of such a Wonderful history, encompassing also all the stories, facts and feelings, adventures and misadventures we can tell... : )
But we must learn how to die... Beauty is everywhere, but we're only the droplet. Sometimes we're up, on the edge, other times down, in the shit-hole. And Life may take us anywhere, and we must be ready: if we are to fall, Beauty will still be all-around, although we will not be able to see it. Sometimes only pain comes in,
That's when Faith is useful - it becomes the door to what we know is there, all that Magic, but we can't really feel it...
But, whether we Feel it or not... it's there... spreading through the billions of light-years, through countless planets, almost completely (I guess) oblivious to the fate of humanity or even the planet with all its wonderful creatures and events. We're simply too common, too little, to make a difference in such a Beautiful Cosmos.
But it IS Wonderful to be part, even an infinitesimal part, of such a Beautiful Vastness...
Carl Sagan, we need more of you!! : )
It is good to be alive...
From what I can imagine, there's nothing more Marvelous than being part of such a Wonderful history, encompassing also all the stories, facts and feelings, adventures and misadventures we can tell... : )
But we must learn how to die... Beauty is everywhere, but we're only the droplet. Sometimes we're up, on the edge, other times down, in the shit-hole. And Life may take us anywhere, and we must be ready: if we are to fall, Beauty will still be all-around, although we will not be able to see it. Sometimes only pain comes in,
That's when Faith is useful - it becomes the door to what we know is there, all that Magic, but we can't really feel it...
But, whether we Feel it or not... it's there... spreading through the billions of light-years, through countless planets, almost completely (I guess) oblivious to the fate of humanity or even the planet with all its wonderful creatures and events. We're simply too common, too little, to make a difference in such a Beautiful Cosmos.
But it IS Wonderful to be part, even an infinitesimal part, of such a Beautiful Vastness...
Carl Sagan, we need more of you!! : )
Friday, November 30, 2012
Why do I feel hate and suffer...?
I don't know if I should write
about all the strings around my heart
about the throbbing and sobbing
about the confused mess I'm in
I see no way out,
I can't even see how I got in
But there's a long way home
Oh yeah, there's a long way home
out there
Love is,
seems to be
the final answer
to all our problems
But I can't find love anywhere
inside
I only find fear
and
pain
Where do all these fears come from?
From the mess of wanting to strike back
and my arms being caught by "civilization"
or, better said, by my will to be on a higher level...
But then, why am I not on a "higher level"?
Why do I feel hate and suffer...???
It has to do with what I want...
What I really want from the bottom of my heart.
And sometimes
just sometimes
I want
REVENGE
LOVE
ACCEPTANCE
TO STRIKE BACK!!
i'M A MAN!!
a monkey...
and my two sides conflict... they smash against each other
it's all a big mess...
and in that mess I don't really know where I am anymore
I know that the answer lies
it's not really an answer
it's the end of the mess
that comes with a change in attitude
and that change comes with
wanting LOVE
above all things
beyond all things
among all others
recognizing LOVE
among all things
in all others
beyond and here now
There is no SOLVING this
no solution...
Just dissolution...
seeing things from a different point of view,
changing the space and time
rearranging everything
LOVE is where I am
I only have to CHOOSE
The beginning should be in LOVE
I should start from LOVE
so that I can return to LOVE
and live throughout in LOVE...
about all the strings around my heart
about the throbbing and sobbing
about the confused mess I'm in
I see no way out,
I can't even see how I got in
But there's a long way home
Oh yeah, there's a long way home
out there
Love is,
seems to be
the final answer
to all our problems
But I can't find love anywhere
inside
I only find fear
and
pain
Where do all these fears come from?
From the mess of wanting to strike back
and my arms being caught by "civilization"
or, better said, by my will to be on a higher level...
But then, why am I not on a "higher level"?
Why do I feel hate and suffer...???
It has to do with what I want...
What I really want from the bottom of my heart.
And sometimes
just sometimes
I want
REVENGE
LOVE
ACCEPTANCE
TO STRIKE BACK!!
i'M A MAN!!
a monkey...
and my two sides conflict... they smash against each other
it's all a big mess...
and in that mess I don't really know where I am anymore
I know that the answer lies
it's not really an answer
it's the end of the mess
that comes with a change in attitude
and that change comes with
wanting LOVE
above all things
beyond all things
among all others
recognizing LOVE
among all things
in all others
beyond and here now
There is no SOLVING this
no solution...
Just dissolution...
seeing things from a different point of view,
changing the space and time
rearranging everything
LOVE is where I am
I only have to CHOOSE
The beginning should be in LOVE
I should start from LOVE
so that I can return to LOVE
and live throughout in LOVE...
Saturday, November 10, 2012
The unpredictability of climate change
"You would expect negative feedbacks to creep in at some point,"
says Hay. "But in climate change, every feedback seems to go positive."
The reason is that Earth's climate seems to have certain stable states.
Between those states things are unstable and can change quickly. "Under
human prodding, the system wants to go into a new climate state."
http://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-blogs/climatechange/reasons-why-sea-levels-are-ris-1/1005661
http://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-blogs/climatechange/reasons-why-sea-levels-are-ris-1/1005661
Sunday, October 21, 2012
A step into the culture
Swirling in the galaxy our planet has small little beings attached. We, as I am one of them, have a slight notion of our whereabouts, as we round in circles around the sun and our own planet. But to us it is as if everything turns around us: the sun gets up and down in the horizon, and everything revolves around us, around me: my clock, my money, my friends, my troubles...
Of course, we are just drops of water in a giant cascade, whose origins is lost in time...
Lately some of these drops on the face of the planet have brought about gigantic changes on the planet: we (life) have done the oxygen revolution, but now we (mankind) are doing the "word revolution".
Like ants used their legs to create fantastic, complex and elaborate, labyrinths beneath the earth, so we, using "words", which are not really sounds, have created airplanes, cars and computers. We have a word for this: culture. Of course our words don't really capture what words are. But that doesn't matter for the almost all of us. In fact, almost all of us are happy with sex, power and food in abundance. Our words, our culture, make us seem intelligent, while, in fact...
Well, I'm part of this...
I look at the sea, it seems a microcosms inside the larger cosmos. I look at my body and I see a microcosms too. I look at the stars and I revel at the idea that my life is almost completely worthless. That gives me a sensation of freedom almost undescribable. If I'm not important I can do whatever I want with my (irrelevant) life. And, so, therefore, it becomes maximally important for me. I can do with it whatever I can and want.
Today I want to know the world: I want to feel the sea and the trees, I want to think about molecules, and galactic molecular clouds, I want my mind to travel from sea and stars to atmosphere, I want to imagine the life of dolphins, I want to imagine the life in the inner core of our galaxy, I want to see details of what the future of life is likely going to be, I want to see how the elections in the US are going, my fellow creatures here with me, sharing everything, sharing words, sharing kisses, sharing handshakes, sharing smiles, sharing pain and deprivation, sharing life and death, sharing words, sharing words, words, words...
We created a Mind, from which we all drink and share, which we all feed and alter...
Here is my today's contribution...
Of course, we are just drops of water in a giant cascade, whose origins is lost in time...
Lately some of these drops on the face of the planet have brought about gigantic changes on the planet: we (life) have done the oxygen revolution, but now we (mankind) are doing the "word revolution".
Like ants used their legs to create fantastic, complex and elaborate, labyrinths beneath the earth, so we, using "words", which are not really sounds, have created airplanes, cars and computers. We have a word for this: culture. Of course our words don't really capture what words are. But that doesn't matter for the almost all of us. In fact, almost all of us are happy with sex, power and food in abundance. Our words, our culture, make us seem intelligent, while, in fact...
Well, I'm part of this...
I look at the sea, it seems a microcosms inside the larger cosmos. I look at my body and I see a microcosms too. I look at the stars and I revel at the idea that my life is almost completely worthless. That gives me a sensation of freedom almost undescribable. If I'm not important I can do whatever I want with my (irrelevant) life. And, so, therefore, it becomes maximally important for me. I can do with it whatever I can and want.
Today I want to know the world: I want to feel the sea and the trees, I want to think about molecules, and galactic molecular clouds, I want my mind to travel from sea and stars to atmosphere, I want to imagine the life of dolphins, I want to imagine the life in the inner core of our galaxy, I want to see details of what the future of life is likely going to be, I want to see how the elections in the US are going, my fellow creatures here with me, sharing everything, sharing words, sharing kisses, sharing handshakes, sharing smiles, sharing pain and deprivation, sharing life and death, sharing words, sharing words, words, words...
We created a Mind, from which we all drink and share, which we all feed and alter...
Here is my today's contribution...
Sunday, October 14, 2012
swimming ... with love
What is love?
A way to see, a way to be, a way to open our eyes, our hearts, our wounds, our mouths...
A way to be cured, a way to be destroyed (the ego)...
Sometimes I feel I'm swimming in a lake, completely alone...
I don't understand anything...
I swim, but I'm afraid, at the same time I feel enchanted...
What will happen next?
Where am I?
What am I?
Who am I?
The questions give me life, a meaning, a direction. But I don't know where to start, what to look for. I'm not even sure if I can imagine a possible answer to what I'm searching for.
I doubt my mind, perhaps there are things that don't fit there.
I doubt my heart, perhaps there are things that it desires that don't make any sense.
But all these doubting leaves me with no references...
I'm still in the water, still lost... On the cover a body, feeding on the planet, a grain of dust in the galactic bigger grain of dust, swirling in what we can't even see the end.
Is the world infinite?
The numbers are infinite, even between 0 and 1. Even between the smallest interval we can imagine.
But, is it relevant? Numbers could be infinite in a finite physical world. And we could always say that they are not really infinite, we could not ever, ever count an infinite number of numbers. Infinite is just a word, a way to say that we cannot establish a limit.
Is there really an infinite out there? Out is out there?
What is time, why do I feel, am I free...
I'm still swimming, lost, completely lost. Around me plants, animals, people and planets continue on their paths... I'm also somebody running about, doing my things...
But ...inside... how I wonder...
I wonder, and I wonder, and I wonder...
Will I have get there... will I ever know, who I am???
Or will I die, and every part of me will end, and the question mark will always remain unanswered?
?
One thing I know for sure! The Universe is astoundingly BEAUTIFUL, from singers and birds, to painters and galaxies, to dogs and cats and sea-waves and rocks and minerals, and blackholes and timetravel, to books and fiction and stories of love and war, destruction and rebirth, on an apparently infinite time and space for plenty of adventures with anemona, sea horses, plancton and whales... from the sun and all the stars, to the view from one of Jupiter's satellites, and all the giant storms it hides... the world is a beautiful place, on the whole. Just looking at a part might seem very ... different.
That beautifulness gives me hope...
Not a certainty, but hope...
From now on... when someone asks me my name, I may retort whatever is expected...
But I'll know, inside, that everything I know about myself, my true name, my real true name, is just a question mark: I am this:
A way to see, a way to be, a way to open our eyes, our hearts, our wounds, our mouths...
A way to be cured, a way to be destroyed (the ego)...
Sometimes I feel I'm swimming in a lake, completely alone...
I don't understand anything...
I swim, but I'm afraid, at the same time I feel enchanted...
What will happen next?
Where am I?
What am I?
Who am I?
The questions give me life, a meaning, a direction. But I don't know where to start, what to look for. I'm not even sure if I can imagine a possible answer to what I'm searching for.
I doubt my mind, perhaps there are things that don't fit there.
I doubt my heart, perhaps there are things that it desires that don't make any sense.
But all these doubting leaves me with no references...
I'm still in the water, still lost... On the cover a body, feeding on the planet, a grain of dust in the galactic bigger grain of dust, swirling in what we can't even see the end.
Is the world infinite?
The numbers are infinite, even between 0 and 1. Even between the smallest interval we can imagine.
But, is it relevant? Numbers could be infinite in a finite physical world. And we could always say that they are not really infinite, we could not ever, ever count an infinite number of numbers. Infinite is just a word, a way to say that we cannot establish a limit.
Is there really an infinite out there? Out is out there?
What is time, why do I feel, am I free...
I'm still swimming, lost, completely lost. Around me plants, animals, people and planets continue on their paths... I'm also somebody running about, doing my things...
But ...inside... how I wonder...
I wonder, and I wonder, and I wonder...
Will I have get there... will I ever know, who I am???
Or will I die, and every part of me will end, and the question mark will always remain unanswered?
?
One thing I know for sure! The Universe is astoundingly BEAUTIFUL, from singers and birds, to painters and galaxies, to dogs and cats and sea-waves and rocks and minerals, and blackholes and timetravel, to books and fiction and stories of love and war, destruction and rebirth, on an apparently infinite time and space for plenty of adventures with anemona, sea horses, plancton and whales... from the sun and all the stars, to the view from one of Jupiter's satellites, and all the giant storms it hides... the world is a beautiful place, on the whole. Just looking at a part might seem very ... different.
That beautifulness gives me hope...
Not a certainty, but hope...
From now on... when someone asks me my name, I may retort whatever is expected...
But I'll know, inside, that everything I know about myself, my true name, my real true name, is just a question mark: I am this:
?
swimming ... with love
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