Why do I feel hate and suffer...?

I don't know if I should write

about all the strings around my heart

about the throbbing and sobbing

about the confused mess I'm in

I see no way out,
I can't even see how I got in

But there's a long way home
Oh yeah, there's a long way home
        out there

Love is,
        seems to be
    the final answer
        to all our problems
      
But I can't find love anywhere
                        inside

I only find fear
                and
                    pain

Where do all these fears come from?
From the mess of wanting to strike back
and my arms being caught by "civilization"
or, better said, by my will to be on a higher level...

But then, why am I not on a "higher level"?

Why do I feel hate and suffer...???

It has to do with what I want...
What I really want from the bottom of my heart.

And sometimes
            just sometimes
        I want
    REVENGE
    LOVE
    ACCEPTANCE
    TO STRIKE BACK!!
i'M A MAN!!
a monkey...

and my two sides conflict... they smash against each other
        it's all a big mess...
      
and in that mess I don't really know where I am anymore

I know that the answer lies
it's not really an answer

it's the end of the mess
that comes with a change in attitude

and that change comes with
wanting LOVE
above all things
beyond all things
among all others

recognizing LOVE
among all things
in all others
beyond and here now

There is no SOLVING this
no solution...

Just dissolution...
seeing things from a different point of view,
changing the space and time
rearranging everything

LOVE is where I am
I only have to CHOOSE

The beginning should be in LOVE
I should start from LOVE
so that I can return to LOVE
and live throughout in LOVE...