What I love and hate about this life

Things I love about this life:


Trees, the sea, the stars, the whole world... the incredible, marvelous beauty of the entire world...

This also includes music, the ability to choose, to think, to feel, to be moved by so many things... It is also interesting to live among and be a homo "sapiens", although it is far from clear in which sense we may be considered a viable species (in the long run that is -a million years or more). I think we are more of an oddity in Earth's history, an ape that created a culture; but that does not remove the interest of being an homo sapiens, it is kind of picturesque.


Things I don't like about this life:

Loss.
Being so small, so limited in so many ways.
Failing, especially when it is a failure of the will, when I could have... if only I'd made a bigger effort...
Failing, even more especially when it is a failure of the heart... when I was selfish, greedy, hating...
Failing, especially when it is a failure of the mind, when I was illuded...

At the same time it is interesting to be small and limited in such a vast and perfect world: it gives me the sense of adventure, of being able to grow or fail.
Although, I must say, I fail almost all of the time...

But the worst thing about life is making someone suffer (even if it is us), or even killing someone. A few days ago I killed several flies in my kitchen. (A fly is a one: "it" has a point of view from which "it" (re)acts upon the world.) They were becoming too many and it was impossible to expel them all. But, everyday, maintaining my life implies killing or stop other beings from living, vegetarianism is cute but does nothing to avoid this. This is probably the worst problem of living. I'd love if I could live on nuclear power away from Earth (coming here just to visit - not to eat) or something like that. The thing I hate the most about life it to have to kill to live.